Evalz...............
Laughs from Employee Performance Evaluations============================================For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it couldhave been worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal governmentemployee performance evaluations.
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and hasstarted to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of adefinite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a ratin a trap."
5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails toachieve them."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it alltogether."
11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the otherone."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn'tcoming."
24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out lookingfor it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."
32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and hasstarted to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of adefinite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a ratin a trap."
5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails toachieve them."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it alltogether."
11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the otherone."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn'tcoming."
24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out lookingfor it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."
32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
4 Comments:
I like number 8
Nat
Hey Age i am kind of mad that you used Pernell's evalutation of me in there! Now erryone knows!
Hush Hush!
hehehehe
gee, there are so many phrases that'd make great blog titles there, age.
Just thought I'd let you know that I've been here for two weeks and no one has offered me green Kool aid yet. I'm kinda disappointed, lol.
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